More Irony

Down with the Simpsons, up with…scantily-clad women?

New Milestones in Mediocrity

This man’s major concern is wondering where he’s going to to be able to fit his newly won television. If I had been in charge of the contest, I would have included special “unspecified prizes” like a gym membership, a Nordic Track, a library card, and gift certificates to an organic food store.

Islam vs. Teddy Bears

It has been said that religion is the opiate of the masses (Karl Marx), and as an extension of that, it should be said that people do funny things when under the influence of opiates of any sort. Here in America, we try and swing the two-edged sword of thought and humor against all such foes. During the day, hundreds of young students are recipient to earnest pleadings that they avoid drugs. But come late night television, our media sensations try and intoxicate their audience with the joyfully addictive laughter, and do so often at the expense of those students who did NOT say no to drugs, or still believe they’re capable of drinking and driving without consequence. Yes, I’m talking to you, Lindsay, Paris, Brittany…oh, the list is too long.

By way of metaphor, I say all this just to remark that I’m all for thoughtful, interfaith discussions. Discussion, however, usually requires composition and patience on the part of those involved. The Sudanese government displays something less than these qualities for jailing a teacher over naming a bear Mohammed. An attack on religion? Give me a break. I’ve been doing something thinking, and I think I can understand what they’re upset about. This teddy bear makes Islam (or at least Mohammed) seem too fluffy, loving, and tender. If the bear were, instead of being a school mascot, emptied of its stuffing and filled with C4 to be used as bomb, or perhaps equipped with an AK-47, maybe then it could earn the name. After all, how many suicide bombers have been named Mohammed, and had their actions revered by the same sort of people who, I imagine, don’t care much for teddy bears?

In America religion is constantly under attack, and to attack it is almost a right guarded by the first amendment. Shows like “Family Guy,” “The Simpsons,” etc. all portray Jesus, the Church, and our practices as ridiculous at best. Consider the first scene from the attached video.

Jesus turns water into funk. Ridiculous. And, kinda funny too. But the point is, Seth MacFarlane’s perception of Jesus does not come from supernatural visions, but with his interaction with the Church—with the body of Christ and its many members. When people crack jokes about Jesus, it’s more a condemnation of the poor way I’ve portrayed Him, and poorly I have. How can Christ POSSIBLY be glorified if I get all ticked off and beat them into a pulp (or otherwise humiliate them). Let’s not forget that when the REAL Jesus came to earth, humiliation was this guy’s middle name. He came to SERVE. He let Himself be crucified, holding back the legions of angels who were, I’m sure, sobbing, furious, and waiting for the chance to run Romans through with flaming swords. So when the Church is bashed, when our actions are mocked, when our bad history is brought up, for sins not my own, what else can I say but, “I’m sorry. Forgive me, forgive us, and give me another chance to love you right.”

I imagine that Jesus is not unaware of the constant cultural commentary surrounding his person, and I imagine that some of it makes Him even laugh while most of us are getting all worried about how his reputation is getting dragged through the dirt. Well, who’s dragging it? I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus, once He has collected all of us, actually did turn water into funk, just to show us that He’s greater than the frowns I wear as if for his sake here on earth. But who do the Muslims in Sudan actually imagine Mohammed was, that he might have been so offended? I can’t help but wonder if they’re not more than a little confused about who they’re favorite prophet was, anymore than Christians are confused. But at least I’ll own up to it.

Angela Platt Reprise?

The astute followers of my blogs (all two of you) may recall Angela Platt, the lady who embezzled millions from her employer to fund necessities for life, such as fire-breathing dragons and the talking trees from classic fantasy movies. Well, the Boston Globe has a slideshow of the myriad of wonderful things she purchased with embezzled cash, including her enormous ranch house and horse.

Also, my previous blogs received numerous hits by referencing Angela Platt. I am hoping this will be another failed publicity stunt to get people to BLOGSPLOG!

The Perpetual Humility of the Incarnation

The Gospel writers consistently draw our attention to the lowly estate Jesus was born into; sharing the fellowship of baryard animals in some ghetto neighborhood of Bethlehem.  This trend continued through his life and his ministry.  Nothing good can come from Nazareth, many clamored!  Now, He stoops even into the maze of our legal system and eternity of paperwork.  The fool in his heart says there is no God, but what title shall we give to the man who “sues” God?  What kind of reparation did Ernie Chambers expect?  Nonetheless, the Almighty dispenses some thoughts about freewill and tells the senator what we’ve wanted to tell most politicians the last few years—”You’re missing the point.”

Whether this is a prank or miracle I know not, though I am inclined to suspect it is a prank.  God would need no witness—He is witness to Himself via the Father and Spirit, but He may have felt compelled to include St. Michael the Archangel for reasons known only to Him, though He does have a habit of delegating work to angels and men insofar as they have capacity, regardless of the fact that we are all rather superfluous to his agendas.

Here’s another point—God speaks our language, if He speaks at all, and He knows his audience.  I’m sure some Christians from Nebraska prayed for judgment to fall when they heard the Lord had been sued, but I’m frankly tickled that “God” filed paperwork instead of fireballs.  Christ’s lordship is present not only in great suffering, as on the cross, or great celebration, as at Cana, but in the tedium, the moment, and where we do not expect Him.

Utter Terror

Yahoo news posted a story of incomprehensible terror. An emu, of those maleficent, unhallowed, be-feathered fowl from the treacherous regions of the Outback, have invaded our golf courses, flooded the sandpits with their cacophonous squawks, and invited all manner of horrible puns to golf terms. Behold an account of terror from Jeremy Behm:

“I heard a noise and this crazy bird was standing right there.”

Read the story for fuller record of the horror.

STOP

Theres a new blog in town.

Tis called the Blogsplog!

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