I…

quit my job!

And this clown knows it!

I have decided that every time I quit a job for the next 20 years I will post in this blog the day that I do it. Some sort of consolation prize for myself I guess.

Shit I’m poor.

LOL

LOL

Turning the Tables on Myself

“…on these two commands hang all the law and the prophets.”  It is, of course, love.  Paul goes into great detail about the types of behavior and attitudes associated with love in 1 Corinthians 13, using rather lyric imagery and movement to do so.  Love is patient, love is kind…I wrote a poem about it, though I’m not the first to do so, nor will I be the last.  I don’t know about you, but I usually took this and applied it to the way I should love my fellow man.  But that’s only half the command.  We are to love God as well, and though He IS love, it is true that God is, in fact, sometimes difficult to love—perhaps more so than our corporeal neighbors.  How do you love the Holy and Unseen?  How do you love the One who allows such affliction to reign upon the earth?  How do you love the One who leads through the Valley of the Shadow for reasons He will not give?  Even those who count us our enemies are not always silent—they cry out, send us video tapes, and post their daily jihad jargon on websites.  But it is frequently the case that God is silent, and will not give the answer I desire.  Who else has communication issues with God?  Among us mortals, communication is touted as the number one issue relationships fizzle.  I suspect it’s probably true.

Amidst the madness of your petitions to that cosmic silence (keeping in mind that Paul was deliberate with his word choice), remember that love is, first, patient.  Oswald Chambers says that the attitude which declares “I must have it now!” is mere lust.

“Is not He who formed the ear/worth the time it takes to hear?”  Even if the time is great.

The Saga Continues…

When we last left our warriors, the Apple and AT&T corporations were in hiding. they were defeated by the rebel alliance who developed programs that could break the bonds that these corporations had placed on the precious iPhone. However, the corporations did not hide idly as the world roamed free with their creations, as was written in the book of napkins by the prophet napkinini. They sat, coniving and developed software updates that would render any phone in the hands of a rebel, worthless, unusable, and “broken”. But the book of napkin gave the rebels hope.

The scripture reads as follows:

napkinini writes: My lawyer senses are tingling as multitudes of lawyers use their new iPhones to contact representatives for a deliciously huge class action lawsuit against the Big Apple.

The prophet, in these words, fortold that “justice” would be served in time, and that the wandering in the wilderness will soon come to an end for the rebels, and they shall one day walk onto the land of promise. But now, my fellow blogsplogians, that prophecy is FULFILLED!

Yes brothers, the corporations’ fate now lies at the mercy of a massive gavel. The world is watching, empire and rebel alike, in anxious expectation for the revelation of the verdict. We can only hope that the “prophet” will be able to foretell the outcome soon, so that our desires can be satisfied. It seems only appropriate that this prophecy come to its fulfillment on the prophet’s birthday. Happy Birthday Napkinini!

A degree in homemaking

“We are moving against the tide in order to establish family and gender roles as described in God’s word for the home and the family….If we do not do something to salvage the future of the home, both our denomination and our nation will be destroyed.”

So spoke Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary President Paige Patterson on the new concentration available to undergraduate students of humanities at the seminary. And what movement does the president refer to as the school’s steps to combat the encroaching destruction of the nation and the baptist denomination?

The university now offers a concentration on homemaking. And it’s open only to women.

Sad

Recently, Brittany Spears’ role as a mother has been dealt another blow and seems as though it may descend to being merely a biological fact. Custody of her two kids has been awarded to her ex-husband, Mr. Federline who, while not necessarily an exemplar of virtue or healthy paternal instincts, probably won the suit due to some judgment along the lines of ” he’s less likely to take children to a bar on a school-night, get them drunk, and make them sing karaoke versions of his songs.”

Now, this is somewhat laughable, and I’m sure SNL and MadTv will have a grand time satirizing the turn of events, but (to surprise myself) I am rather sad for her. A prelude of her many failings cannot mitigate that legally losing her children and having the event broadcast to all the world is a humiliating and shameful tragedy. It may be the kind of deprivation that eventually leads her to clean up her act and it may even (to the joy of the music business) inspire some really heart-rending ballads. It is easy to be callous. She has more money than I’ve ever dreamed of wasting, and has lived the “American dream” that many dream of, so why should we be compassionate, right? It is, admittedly, much easier to feel tenderness and generosity rising up when Bono and crew sing about the starving nations of Africa—showing us pictures of their lean faces and distended bellies. All this we can change with the purchase of, for example, a red T-shirt from the GAP or wearing a white wrist-band. We can “care” and be cool. We can praise the memory of Mother Theresa who worked in the slums of Calcutta, and send money to the nuns still working among the untouchables. Their work is important! Humanitarian! Feeding the hungry, healing the sick. Bono just won some new award and well he deserves it. But no amount of red t-shirts or wristbands or buying her new album will make Brittany a better mother, or undo the past ignominious year of her life—the pain of which will perpetuate her cycle of self-destruction or finally ring out a clarion call for some real change for the better in her life, and I for one hope she hears it, even if there aren’t any awesome ballads involved. No one deserves compassion, or second chances, and it’s so easy to feel good about spending my extra money on something that has near immediate results. Put bread in a baby in watch flesh cover their bones. Do it a million times over, direct the wealth of nations, and win yourself the Nobel prize. But who has the patience or skill to heal the wounded heart behind the momentary hunger?

Ugh.

I respect Jon Kitna and I’ve always enjoyed his football.

I believe he has a great story and he’s definitely one of those underdog types who plays selflessly and really enjoys being involved with the game in any capacity that he can.

That said, this article is filled with the worst kind of tripe about how football (a game) compares somehow to “faith” and “religion” and a whole other variety of flowery words that the oh so enlightened writer could use.

I found myself irked the entire time that I read it and I have to believe that Jon Kitna feels the same.

Thoughts Regarding Suits Against God

These thoughts were inspired by the Grand Inquisitor (whose identity baffles me)

For the quick end of it, the suit will get dismissed for lack of service of process, most likely. The answer complicates things a little bit, as the Mayo vs. Satan and his Staff precedent won’t apply, even if it normally would, because Mayo failed proper service on Satan and the entirety of his staff. I’m not entirely certain how this will go through the gearworks, because I don’t know the procedure for an instance like this, but we need not fear a judgment against God.

I don’t think he’s trying to make an ad-hominem, because he’s not trying to attack a position that God is arguing by arguing against the character of God. He’s just filing a frivolous lawsuit to protest frivolous lawsuits in a way that also thumbs his nose at people who believe in God by pointing out that evil exists and has consequences. This is the pollution protesters driving trucks in protest of truck driving all over again.

One thing interesting, though, is how our friendly congressman assumes that, by naming God in the suit, he really fails to specify which God. Just because someone makes some assertion against God doesn’t mean he’s referring to the One True Eternal God. He could have named him (YHWH), if he’s going after the Christian or Jewish God, for example, or have sued in “Doe,” with the doe being “The supreme being who rules the universe through indeterminate and mysterious means,” or something like that.

What I’m getting at is, when people rant against God, in general, they practice idolatry. They have fashioned up an idol in the image of their liking. But they are not pagans, for once they create their idols, they then proclaim that they are not God, and nothing like the idol that they’ve created is God.

And for that much, I will give the congressman. If God is one who personally injures people absent any immunity or privilege afforded by law, and the jurisdiction (i.e., law) within which God operates does not afford any, say, divine privilege, immunity, or exception, and if there is a body of law which actually governs God outside God in a way which humans can conceptualize and comprehend accurately enough to render judgment upon it, then yes, I think I would be agnostic and sue God, just in case.

The Perpetual Humility of the Incarnation

The Gospel writers consistently draw our attention to the lowly estate Jesus was born into; sharing the fellowship of baryard animals in some ghetto neighborhood of Bethlehem.  This trend continued through his life and his ministry.  Nothing good can come from Nazareth, many clamored!  Now, He stoops even into the maze of our legal system and eternity of paperwork.  The fool in his heart says there is no God, but what title shall we give to the man who “sues” God?  What kind of reparation did Ernie Chambers expect?  Nonetheless, the Almighty dispenses some thoughts about freewill and tells the senator what we’ve wanted to tell most politicians the last few years—”You’re missing the point.”

Whether this is a prank or miracle I know not, though I am inclined to suspect it is a prank.  God would need no witness—He is witness to Himself via the Father and Spirit, but He may have felt compelled to include St. Michael the Archangel for reasons known only to Him, though He does have a habit of delegating work to angels and men insofar as they have capacity, regardless of the fact that we are all rather superfluous to his agendas.

Here’s another point—God speaks our language, if He speaks at all, and He knows his audience.  I’m sure some Christians from Nebraska prayed for judgment to fall when they heard the Lord had been sued, but I’m frankly tickled that “God” filed paperwork instead of fireballs.  Christ’s lordship is present not only in great suffering, as on the cross, or great celebration, as at Cana, but in the tedium, the moment, and where we do not expect Him.