Hey Look

I’d Tap That pt. 2

I’ve been painting a lot this weekend, and as a result I have had a lot of time to think about things in the process. One of those things was how coordinate some specific personality traits of more people who I know that read this blog into Magic cards. A momentary lapse of stupidity caused the breakthrough that allowed me to create Jeege’s card. The idea called for him to be a legend. Legends, for the Magic-impaired readers out there, are a kind of creature in the game where only one may be in your control at one time. power and toughness are represented by * because they are determined by certain parameters (power= how much damage a creature can do; toughness = how much damage a creature can take). now… on to our explanation!

The first ability Jeege is given is the ability of trample. I, for one, have always thought that this is one of the most kick ass abilities in the game and thus is an honor to hold (a reason I wanted The Jeege to have it). To understand trample one must understand attacking and blocking. Attacking is something any creature may do by tapping (if you don’t know what tapping is then you probably are not the type of person that finds this blog funny). When you attack, you always attack the person you are playing against. they have the option of blocking your attack with a creature of their own. If this occurs, your creature deals damage equal to its power (first number) to that creature’s toughness (second number). However, if a creature has the trample ability, and there is leftover damage to be done after the toughness, then it goes to the player! In other words, it clears out what lies in its path and continues on toward it’s target. This is significant to the area of Jeege’s personality that I want to emphasize… now!

The significance of the attributes:

The first attribute begins with the trample ability. However it is important to note that it is only in effect while The Jeege is attacking. This is because Jeege, as those who know him well can confirm, will spend most of his time in a very tame and secluded state. He does this, mostly, in his chair while watching his computer screen taking in whatever information, art, game, film, or music it may be displaying. The next detail is that Jeege is continually tapped while in play. This is also because of the lifestyle I just explained, but more so a nod toward Jeege’s continued absence. He is a man who’s responsibilities are spread out over a wide area and he is seldom seen at home as such. And, as explained earlier, he is not exactly the most outgoing type when he finally finds his rest at his desk. But during this time, this secluded respite, The Jeege is acquiring a plethora of information. So much so, that if one were to stop him at some point and ask him what was on his mind, a torrent of nuanced, passionate, and well informed opinions will stream forth as if you caused the last chink to an already bursting dam. This is represented in the gathering of rage tokens. Should The Jeege not be given the opportunity to express his rage, what would become of him? It is one of the fantastic mysteries of creation. However, one can suppose that he might die from the burden of his own passion. That is why The Jeege: Wielder of Rage cannot survive more than 5 turns without releasing his passion. Which brings us, finally, to the second ability.

At the cost of four mana (or courage to break the deafening silence) one can untap The Jeege: Wielder of Rage and thus enable him to attack. If he attacks, he releases all of his built up rage at the end of the turn, and begins his pursuit of more important matters than the last. This, I repeat, is coupled with the added trample ability, for no one within a 15 ft. radius can further go about their business without first acknowledging that The Jeege’s river of rage has been released.

Now, to clarify one last matter. Some may have noticed that I have interchanged the words rage and passion in this lengthly explanation. This is because The Jeege’s rage is not always hateful or anger. In fact, it is more commonly excitement and bursting happiness. This is because Jeege is simply a passionate man. So passionate that he even finds a blog like this, where its readers take no interest in stupid sports games, to write his football reviews for the Minnesota Vikings. So really, passionate is the better word to describe what I am getting at in this card. But I chose to call The Jeege the wielder of rager, rather than calling him the wielder of passion, because that just sounds gay and thus would not represent his character. Or wait… maybe it would?

asada – out

I’d Tap That pt. 1

Thinking about this card, I concluded that the most appropriate creature typeis be “Team Killer.” This, of course, because that is the theme of the entire card. The picture is significant because it is, and has always been, the face of Pelchflumph/Napkin during the mass slaughter of unsuspecting team members. The face and it’s owner have earned many enemies.

The significance of the two abilities:

The first is easy to determine. TK (team kill) tokens are Pelchflumph’s weapon. Creatures in the player’s control are sacrificed because…. well… thats what team killing is: killing your allies. Once Pelchflumph has killed too many people on his own team, an admin becomes aware and bans him from the server. However, the overall result of Pelchflumph being on one’s team is that the griefing and “TK”ing is too catastrophic for you to actually come back and win the game before time runs out. So, by the time Pelchflumph leaves the game, you have already lost.

The second ability is significant because it signifies the endless search Pelchflumph undertakes to find a server that (a) has given him the ability to team kill by allowing friendly fire and (b) hasn’t already banned him from the server. This also represents “kicking” Pelchflumph from a server… which is a temporary ban from play not uncommon to game servers. The removal of Pelchflumph from the game (see first ability) is of course a permanent ban. This second ability is important to the game of Magic: The Gathering however because it allows the players to bounce Pelchflumph back and forth saying “I don’t want him! I don’t want him!” until someone is stuck with him when he is removed from the game and that person loses. This card is powerful… and should be banned from play in every game everywhere and in all circles. But until then we will all remain entertained by its hilarity.