I went to lunch today with my mom and dad—we got a couple hoagies and took a stroll down the sun-scorched and pigeon-pooped pier. It was lovely. On our way back, we suddenly heard, distinct from the pigeon grumbles and seagull cries the shrill trill of sirens. What could it be? First a fire engine, then an ambulance, and a police SUV pulled up onto the beach. Curiosity drew a crowd, and I stood at the railing looking for anything out of the ordinary. Finally, my gaze rested on a young woman sitting dejectedly in the surf. She was also under the gaze of a few cops and an EMT standing on the beach. She must not have been in any real danger or, conversely, about to be a real danger to anyone (or anything else) because they just stood there taking in the tan rays. Some kids next to me were speculating that she might have been injured somehow (a great white shark was spotted a few beaches up from here), but she appeared to be in full possession of her limbs and mental faculties. A big siren-screaming hootenanny all for nothing. So we walked on, passing other emergency vehicles on the way to our car. My mom remarked that the young woman was likely to get a tongue lashing once she got her mopey self out of the surf. From our perspective, she needlessly brought out the fuzz, fire, and physicians, wasting our tax dollars. I’m sure many similar judgments were rendered by other observers. But, really, are the tax dollars not being wasted if they aren’t being spent on emergencies? It’s not as if Pismo Beach is going to receive any kind of monetary recompense because fewer people burn their houses down, or if there are fewer instances of murder, domestic violence, or car wrecks at crowded intersections. These public departments are awarded budgets in anticipation of having to do their jobs, which, unfortunately, includes responding to every boy and girl that cries “Wolf!”
On the other hand…What if the public was able to recollect our tax dollars in proportion to decreasing our self-destructive outbursts? I’d be very interested to see a campaign wherein someone running for Police Commissioner, or even governor, made this kind of promise. “Taxpayers paid the California Highway Patrol alone 1.4 billion dollars during 2005-2006. That’s a lot of money. Wouldn’t you like to get some of it back? Tell you what—start driving more carefully, don’t call the cops if you don’t need help, and don’t call the fire department if all that’s burned is your mother-in-law’s chicken casserole. We’ll give you back the money we don’t use trying to minimize the consequences of your irresponsible behavior.”
I’d vote for him. Or her.
Posted by The Grand Inquisitor 
Posted by jeege 
Posted by napkinini 